Sunday, 22 July 2007 ; 09:06Y
IM FYNE WITHOUT YOU~
todae was the yaQin's chill-out-day @ safra yishun's bowling centre. but there were only me, siti, nas, adi, sis fizah, bro syam, bro faisal n his wife, n my irsya.... but den my irsya was late by half an hour. but i was shocked when he appeared not after tapping the ez-link card at the control station. but i was like 'heck-care' bcoz we were in sum kind of 'conflict'. and i juz ignored him until at the bus queeing line at the interchange. out of a sudden, he asked me:
IRSYA:wat tyme u keluar rumah tadi?
ME: around 1.30 . why??
IRSYA: i waited for you infront of your block ard 1.15 gitu.
ME: huh?? u serious?? how cum i neva saw you??
IRSYA: I saw ur dad cuming out from the gate..so i moved to the staircase infront..
ME: Juz now i got my dad to send me to yishun mrt..but how come i never saww youuu??!!
IRSYA: I waited sampai 1.45..i was like "ehh da pukol brape nie takkan tak kluar-kluar??" so i walked back to yishun mrt lah..datz why i was late...
ME: Alahhh...u soo sweettt...knape tak bilang siang-siang??!! ishhh...why must i get my dad to send me!!~~hmpphh~
IRSYA: i thought of giving you a surprise..actually i reached your house around 1.15 gitu...
ME: awww dear....u soo sweetttttttt........
IRSYA: alalalalalalalala......
he's soo sweet kann?? he wanted to give me a surprise by appearing infront of my block..but too bad la..it was not meant to be...hmpph...heee..and aft dat all of us went straight to safra yishun and stayed dere until 4. aft finished playing bowling, all of us went to eat at KFC bcoz we were all so damn hungry. and aft dat, we headed to the arcade to have sum funn. aft dat we all lead our separate ways. irsya sent me home and the rest is history.
only me and him and allah knew what have happened to us. i don't wish to remember about it but i juz can't. i cannot pretend dat it neva happened but i have to and i must try to. i was truly shocked and dissappointed with his sudden changes. but i don't want to hear any promises made by him or said by me. we may never know if it tends to happen again. i don't want to kotorkan the 'cinta suci' yang kiter jaga selame ini wif kemungkaran and dosa. it won't be blessed, obviously. so dear, we'll put dat behind us and never to look back again.
i know you are still waiting for my forgiveness. i know dat you are still waiting for me to make the decision. i know dat you have made yours. i still remember when u said "i'll wait for you no matter how long it takes". i remember sayang..but just give me some time to think it through..
few songs that describe my emotion ryte now.......
PERMATA YANG DI CARI
hadirnya tanpa ku sedari
menngamit kasih cinta bersemi
hadir cinta insan padaku ini
anugerah kurniaan illahi
lembut tutur bicaranya
menarik hatiku untuk mendekatinya
kesopanannya memikat di hati
mendamaikan jiwaku yang resah ini
ya-Allah
jika dia benar untukku
dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
jika dirinya bukanlah milikku
damaikanlah hatiku dengan ketentuanMU
Dia lah permata yang dicari
selama ini telah pun ku temui
tapi ku tak pasti rencana Illahi
adakah dia kan ku miliki?
tidak sekali dinodai nafsu
akan ku batasi dengan syariatMu
jika dirinya bukan untukku
redha hatiku dengan ketentuanMU
ya-Allah engkaulah
tempat ku bergantung harapanku
ku harap diriku sentiasa di dalam rahmatMU
maybe this song is meant for me but he didn't mention to me anything about it.
NICK LACHEY- THIS I SWEAR
You're there by my side
In every way
I know that you will not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me
I may not say it quite as much as I shouldWhen I say I love you darling that means for goodSo open up your heart and let me inAnd I will love you 'til foreverUntil death do us part we'll be togetherSo take my hand and hold on tightAnd we'll get thereThis I swearI'm wondering how I ever got byWithout you in my life to guide meWherever I go the one thing that's trueIs everything I do I do for youI may not say it half as much as I shouldWhen I say I love you darling that means for goodSo open up your heart and let me in(Chours)And I will love you 'til foreverUntil death do us part we'll be togetherSo take my hand and hold on tightAnd we'll get thereThis I swearSo whenever you get wearyJust reach out for meI'll never let you down my love (my love, my love)how sweet it would be if he dedicate this song for me........and one more song that explains his emotions.....ELLIOT YAMIN-WAIT FOR YOUI never felt nothing in the world like this beforeNow I’m missing youAnd I’m wishing that you would come back through my doorWhy did you have to go? You could have let me knowSo now I’m all alone,Girl you could have stayedbut you wouldnt give me a chanceWith you not around it’s a little bit more then i can standAnd all my tears they keep running down my faceWhy did you turn away?So why does your pride make you run and hide?Are you that afraid of me?But I know it’s a lie what you keep insideThis is not how you wanted to beSo baby I will wait for youCause I don”t know what else i can doDon’t tell me I ran out of timeIf it takes the rest of my lifeBaby I will wait for youIf you think I’m fine it just aint trueI really need you in my lifeNo matter what i have to do I’ll wait for youIt’s been a long time since you called me(How could you forget about me)You got me feeling crazy (crazy)How can you walk away,Everything stays the sameI just can’t do it babyWhat will it take to make you come backGirl I told you what it is & it just ain’t like thatWhy can’t you look at me, your still in love with meDon’t leave me crying.Baby why can’t we just start over againGet it back to the way it wasIf you give me a chance I can love you rightBut your telling me it wont be enoughSo baby I will wait for youCause I don’t know what else i can doDon’t tell me I ran out of timeIf it takes the rest of my lifeBaby I will wait for youIf you think I’m fine it just aint trueI really need you in my lifeNo matter what i have to do I’ll wait for youwords from the song are juz super true. he is still waiting for me to give him my answers. he wanted us to be back again like before. and i've got a last song here dat express my true feelings for him......MARIAH CAREY- MY ALLI am thinking of youIn my sleepless solitude tonightIf it's wrong to love youThen my heart just won't let me be right'Cause I'm drowned in youAnd I won't pull throughWithout you by my sideI'd give my all to haveJust one more night with youI'd risk my life to feelYour body next to mine'cause I can't go onLiving in the memory of our songI'd give my all for your love tonightBaby can you feel meImagining I'm looking in your eyesI can see you clearly Vividly emblazoned in my mindand that you're so farLike a distant starI'm wishing on tonightI'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight
Labels: emotions in me